Welcome to the Feral Era
You wake up late.
You answer emails from the floor.
You ate microwave popcorn for lunch, standing up. At 2:47 p.m.
You forgot what day it was, twice this week.
No, you’re not broken. You might just be a little bit feral.
Once upon a time, the idea of a 9–5 job made sense. Structure! Paychecks! Maybe even benefits if the stars aligned. But now? Your soul winces when someone says “sync up.” You scroll TikTok at midnight watching people live off-grid with chickens and think: “Yes. That.”
If that’s you, welcome. Let’s talk about the signs.
What Even Is “Feral” Energy?
Feral is that slightly unhinged, untamed vibe that says:
“I cannot be domesticated by Outlook calendar invites.”
It doesn’t mean you’re irresponsible. It means structure makes you itchy, and you crave a little freedom, mess, and honest-to-god life in your day.
Feral people can be high-functioning—some run businesses, write books, or raise kids. But if you’re in a traditional 9–5, they usually do one of three things:
- Start to decay quietly inside
- Create a burner Instagram account where they post memes about rage-quitting
- Quit and go freelance with zero plan and one espresso-fueled manifesto
Let’s get into the symptoms.
Signs You Might Be Just a Little Bit Feral
1. You Start the Day With Chaos
No smoothie. No gratitude journal. Just vibes, caffeine, and an email from your boss you’ve been ignoring since yesterday.
2. You Eat Like a Raccoon
Girl dinner. Boy dinner. Chaos dinner. You’ve eaten string cheese, half a tortilla, and coffee and called it a meal.
3. Your Work “Routine” Is Held Together by Delusion
Sometimes you’re up at 6am with a plan. Other times you’ve opened your laptop at 11:34am in your towel like, “Let’s see what happens.”
4. You Rage Against Meetings
You could be actively dying, and your Outlook would still invite you to a 1:00pm “Check-In: Q3 Optimization Flowchat Sync.”
You sit there like a feral cat in a bathtub—angry, wet, and very done.
5. The Thought of “Business Casual” Makes You Violent
The moment someone says “jeans aren’t appropriate,” you black out and wake up in a parking lot Googling “digital nomad jobs that pay actual money.”
6. Your Soul Withers at the Phrase “Let’s Circle Back”
Corporate speak makes your skin peel off. You’d rather someone just say “I forgot” than call it “a bandwidth issue.”
7. Your Office Personality Is an Act
You have “Zoom voice.” You use phrases like “Just wanted to check in” when what you really mean is “WHERE IS THE FILE, STEVE.”
Why This Is Happening (a.k.a., You’re Not Broken)
It’s not you—it’s the system.
People crave autonomy. Especially after the last few years of “pivoting” through pandemics, layoffs, AI, and existential dread.
The truth? 9–5 was built for factories and fax machines—not modern brains, not modern burnout, and definitely not you.
Add in:
- Flexible tech
- Overstimulation
- 100 tabs open (in your brain and Chrome)
- And 10,000 life options you’re supposed to “optimize”
…and yeah, no wonder you feel feral.
So What Now?
(No, I’m Not About to Tell You to Start a Dropshipping Empire)
If the feral signs are flashing red, here are your options:
Option 1: Escape
Go freelance. Start a business. Shift to contract work. Sell feet pics (no judgment).
Pros: Freedom, chaos, possibly more money.
Cons: Taxes, loneliness, sometimes crying in a Trader Joe’s parking lot.
Option 2: Hack the System
You stay employed—but on your terms. Find a remote-friendly role, reduce hours, build boundaries like a psycho ex.
Pros: Stability, income, not starting from scratch.
Cons: Still some meetings, still pretending you care about Slack emojis.
Option 3: Build an Exit Plan
Hate your job? Good. Use that fire. Set a date. Stack cash. Learn a skill. Don’t just quit—plan your feral freedom.
Hot tip:
Write a fake resignation letter. Don’t send it. Just feel the rush.
Feral But Functional: How to Survive While You Figure It Out
- Build rituals, not routines: Coffee + weird playlist = ritual. Meetings = no.
- Batch your energy: Work in spurts. Rest unapologetically.
- Use tech to avoid people: Schedule messages. Auto-decline meetings. Use “Do Not Disturb” like it’s your religion.
- Stay curious: Ferality is just freedom that hasn’t found direction yet. Learn. Wander. Mess around.
If you feel:
- Allergic to meetings
- Chronically overstimulated
- Emotionally allergic to “9–5 vibes”
- Spiritually aligned with raccoons and feral forest creatures
Then you’re not lazy. You’re probably just built different.
And that’s okay.
Final Words
You’re not crazy for wanting something else. The rules have changed—and if cubicle life isn’t it for you, you’re not alone.
Being “feral” isn’t a flaw. It’s just your brain trying to remind you:
you weren’t meant to live and die by Microsoft Teams.
So go outside. Scream into the wind. Build something weird.
And maybe, just maybe, stop answering emails from the bathroom floor.
We believe in you. Mostly!
If you need to find a co-working space for your new era check out our post on spaces in Sacramento here!
